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24 January 2008 @ 09:41 pm
[fanfic] Like Music (PG-13)  
Title: Like Music
Author: tiptoe39
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Pointless fluff. You could consider this Kiss #31. It occurred to me I'd never done the most obvious permutation of the situation, which is that Matt would know immediately if Mohinder were to fall in love with him. He reads thoughts for Chrissake. So, I did it. And here it is. Laaaaaa. I think this is more fun the slower you read it. But that's just me.



Mohinder's in love with me. I hear thoughts, so I know.

It's kind of funny that he thinks I don't know. I told him right up front that I hear thoughts. "I don't like to think of it as mind-reading. It's shallower than that. I can't pull out people's memories or their deepest feelings. I can only hear what you're thinking right now, at this very moment," I said. "So you don't have to worry about me finding out your deepest secrets. Unless, of course, you're worrying about it right now."

But it's little things that always add up, you know? I mean, I'm a detective. It's my job to put two and two together. (I'm good at it, too. No matter what those failed exams say. They had nothing to do with my ability to solve mysteries.) So if he's staring at my hands when I'm pouring my coffee and he thinks "Too bad" when I settle down onto the couch to sleep, those are two pretty big clues. So while the thought-hearing stuff is helpful, it's not the whole bag. Even if he were the best poker face in the world and I couldn't do what I can, I think by now I'd have figured it out.

Mohinder's in love with me. I'm not sure I like that.

I mean, never mind the whole man thing. I've heard things since this... weirdness... started that makes that seem positively boring by comparison. As long as the thoughts involve neither leather nor diapers, I'm cool with it. (Hell, I might even be cool with a little bit of leather. Erm, but I digress.) It's just that, well, the guy's my roommate. I mean, how long can it stay flattering before it just gets hellish? What if he decides to say something one of these days? What if I decide to say something one of these days? What if I meet someone here in town? Will I have death wishes flying at her every time I bring her home? Might sort of ruin the mood.

Besides. I sort of don't like hearing Mohinder thinking about me when he should be paying attention to Molly. You know? I mean, flattering as it is when he looks up at me for a second while he's helping her with homework and I hear beautiful eyes... oh God my heart is pounding like a shock of color in the black-and-white world of algebra, I'd really rather he just helped her with the math, you know? God knows I can't help her there. Besides, then my heart starts pounding, and I wonder if I act funny, or he knows that I know, or something complicated like that. All this stuff, all this complication that I shouldn't be having if I didn't hear thoughts. All this stuff I didn't ask for.

Mohinder's in love with me. I wish I didn't know.

It's bad enough that I have to hear it. But I also have to worry about reacting to it. Am I acting different because I know? Does he assume I know and is just waiting for me to have the courage to talk about it? Does he have no idea I know and would be shocked if I came clean? Is he starting to suspect I might know, and should I be acting more casual or less casual or cheerier or crankier or something so he won't get any more suspicious?

Truthfully? I never should have gotten this ability. It's not something a guy like me can handle. Because my capacity for bullshit is just flat zero. I can't even do undercover work because I'm such a lousy liar. And when feelings are involved, I'm the biggest loser ever. I'm either squealing with happiness like a kid, or I'm Broody Moody Matt the Sad Sack. So for me to be the one who gets all this forbidden knowledge is just ridiculous. It should have gone to someone who's brilliant. Who's all logic and reason. Who could handle it without turning upside down and inside out. Someone like, oh, say, Mohinder.

Yeah. He would be brilliant reading thoughts. He could totally use it to figure out what the hell those Company assholes are all about, and then he wouldn't be nearly so obtuse. (OK. Not a good example of Mohinder's brilliance.) He would be so freaking brilliant if he actually could read minds instead of just study them. I wouldn't be nearly able to keep up with him. I can barely keep up with him as it is. I mean, not only is he brilliant, but he's all cultured. And I don't say that just because he has a British accent. I mean, the man drinks tea and listens to classical music and reads philosophy. Seriously. Philosophy. I can't understand the meaning of a six-letter word, let alone the meaning of life. But he's just... remarkable. It's a little intimidating.

Mohinder's in love with me. Which is ridiculous because he's way too good for me.

First of all, you've never seen such a gorgeous man. Let's admit it. He's built like a Greek god. (A Greek Indian god? An Indian Greek god? I'm not sure, but I have seen Indian gods and Mohinder's not built like any of them, so the Greek's gotta stay in there somewhere.) He has the curly hair and the bright eyes and the angelic smile, so he almost looks like a boy above the shoulders, but everything from there on down is just 100% hot man. I never see him exercise. I have no idea how he does it. He never breaks a sweat. Well, he's always in front of a microscope, so maybe he sweats the small stuff.

See, even my sense of humor is inferior. His sense of humor is very dry, very subtle. Kind of infuriating, too. Me, I'm all bad puns. And my voice sounds like a gravel pit. His sounds like a violin. Again, it's not just the accent. His words sort of rise and fall in this very music-y way. His thoughts have the same pattern, too. He thinks in full sentences. It's like a sort of hypnotizing voiceover. I fall asleep to it some nights. And when he thinks in the language he used to speak in India, I think he called it Tamil? It's so sexy. Like music.

And look, I haven't even gotten to how he's this brilliant geneticist who is also an amazing co-father and, um, this is sounding bad, isn't it?

Yes, this is decidedly bad. Because I've had this internal monologue going for so long that I've completely forgotten to move. And he's just looked up and thought, He's been staring at me for a half-hour at least. And I have. I am so busted.

Mohinder's in love with me. And he's just figured out that I know.

This is the moment where it all changes, isn't it? Crap, I've put this moment off for so long and now it's gone and snuck up on me from behind. And now I'm totally unprepared, and he's taking off his glasses and getting up and walking across the floor and I don't know quite what I want to say, and now my own thoughts are drowning out whatever it is that he's thinking so I have no idea what he's about to say.

I can't even hear what he's saying now that he's actually speaking except for maybe the word uncomfortable and the word thoughts and the word privacy. I just keep looking at his mouth, like it's some weird creature from another world. The way it moves is so interesting, so foreign, so strangely elegant. I want to see him say the word uncomfortable again just because I think his lips puckered about four different ways and I have never seen anyone with such a variety of puckers before. I bet they all taste different. Oh, God. Oh, God.

I think I'm shaking. I think my hands are trembling. He sees that I'm looking. Who needs to read thoughts? I must be an open book to him. Shit. Oh, God. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what he's saying. I can hear him thinking please react, please say something, stop looking at me like you want to kiss me and either set me straight or kiss me because I know you can hear me, pick one and go with it!

Yeah, OK, pick one. Right. I can do that.

And now my hands are trembling because they're moving without me and grabbing him and his face is full of surprise and joy and light. Which is great because I'm still not sure which one I picked. My mouth is opening but is it to tell him I'm not interested and he should go away now? No, no, I think that's not the direction I'm going given the fact that my eyes have just closed and his breath is warm against my face. Not sure yet. Not 100 percent sure.

But I'm pretty sure I chose to kiss him, because I think I'm kissing him. Oh, God, I am kissing him, and he, he's kissing me back and thinking oh thank God Matt I love you I love you so much and something about his hands on my neck are making me shudder all over. His thoughts are a whole orchestra full of violins now, and my heart is a drum, and we're playing to the same rhythm. Like music. Like hope. Like love.

Mohinder's in love with me. How amazing is that?

:end:
 
 
 
Moral Whiplash: acidicbkwyrm on January 25th, 2008 02:51 am (UTC)
Awwww. SO cute.
It's nice to see another one! I was afraid there wouldn't be any more kisses, and I do enjoy them so much.
Tiptoe39: fanfictiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
These boys are like wild chickens laying plotbunnies in my brain on a daily basis. I don't think you need to worry about a lack of fanfic from me. I think you should rather worry about the opposite. :D I'm very gratified that you enjoyed it, however. :)
Renée: GG. Blair. Squee!rogueslayer452 on January 25th, 2008 03:27 am (UTC)
Mohinder's in love with me. How amazing is that?

Pretty damn amazing, if I do say so myself. *g*

This is certainly the Bonus Kiss #31, as it was just as adorable as the previous ones were. I like Matt's inner monologue, going on and on about Mohinder and worrying about Mohinder thinking about him and his reaction to it all. Being a telepath has it's perks, though you did raise a good point in this story. What if Mohinder had the ability to read minds? First, he would be freaking unstoppable in his pursuit to save people no doubt, but I like the idea that he could analyze other people's thoughts, get inside people's heads and really connect things together. It would be pretty awesome.

Okay, I'm going completely off tangent now. So yay, another kiss story. :D
Tiptoe39: dashtiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:37 pm (UTC)
Hm, plotbunny: What if Mohinder had ___'s power? Snerk.

No, you're going ON a tangent. if you were going off the tangent you'd be back on topic. :copy editor moment.:

I have to ask what the hell that woman is squeeing about in your icon. I stare at it hoping it'll run a little longer next time so I can figure out why she's so damned excited. And it never does. :D


thanks for writing!
The Soul says: - rogueslayer452 on January 25th, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
shara50: nakedshara50 on January 25th, 2008 03:38 am (UTC)
Excellent!!
Tiptoe39: porntiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:38 pm (UTC)
holy crap, you and your naked!icons are killing me!!!

Thank you!
boymommytotwoboymommytotwo on January 25th, 2008 03:39 am (UTC)
Aaaagh! I love it! I love that there are more kisses! I **knew** it - just knew there would have to be more because they're sooooooooo good!

I loved Matt's catharsis - all the way through - until the omg moment when it was that he hadn't moved for a half hour.

I also loved Mohinder's oh-thank-God-Matt-I-love-you-I-love-you-so-much... I could just hear it in my heart, resonating over and over...

Thank you for continuing... and just **try** to douse me in fanfiction... I DARE you!!!

:loves:
Tiptoe39: haroldtiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:38 pm (UTC)
waiii that is a dare i hope i can take :D thanks as always for reading!!
T: M3triedunture on January 25th, 2008 03:52 am (UTC)
SQUEAL. More kisses = happy me.
Tiptoe39: cmere youtiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:39 pm (UTC)
happy you = happy me :D
redorchard13redorchard13 on January 25th, 2008 03:54 am (UTC)
He never breaks a sweat. Well, he's always in front of a microscope, so maybe he sweats the small stuff.

BWAHAHAHAROFLMAOHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
*flail*
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
*falls over*
<3
Tiptoe39: pridetiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I sort of looked at that line after I wrote it and thought, is that original? Did I steal that? Because that's f'n awesome. I can't possibly have come up with that. I was hoping someone would like it. :D
yoruichiyoshi12yoruichiyoshi12 on January 25th, 2008 03:59 am (UTC)
Oh, this is one of my favorites now! So good. I just love inner Matt, he's so funny that way. *snuggles your fic* absolutely lovely.
Tiptoe39: matt listentiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:40 pm (UTC)
Yes, it's sort of Kiss 26 redux, eh? I love getting inside Matt's head. It's too bad he's the mind reader because reading his mind would rock... that's why God invented fanfic, though!
Dee00smut on January 25th, 2008 04:14 am (UTC)
That is rather amazing... and dreamy. I love train of thought fic, it's always so refreshing and amusing.

I guess there is life after "The Kisses"! Thank you so much for writing this!
Tiptoe39: don't eventiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:41 pm (UTC)
God I hope there is life after The Kisses, because if not, I'd be ded!!! thanks for reading!
crystal_mkcrystal_mk on January 25th, 2008 04:15 am (UTC)
Wonderful!
I love the progression of Matt's thoughts on Mohinder being in love with him. Thank god he chose to kiss him!

You were right, I read this once then went back and read it slower in it *was* better!
Tiptoe39: mo prettytiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:42 pm (UTC)
yays! thank you! i am loving New Beginnings btw! and that sciencey mohinder icon is hot.
The Soul says: - crystal_mk on January 25th, 2008 02:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
JLB: 1776-lolbaehj2915 on January 25th, 2008 07:39 am (UTC)
lol!

oh matt, you never fooled me.

that was adorable! Hugs all around!

JLB
Tiptoe39: cmere youtiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:42 pm (UTC)
hugs to you and Ben as well! :stares at your icon amusedly:
The Soul says: - animegirl07 on January 25th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Soul says: - baehj2915 on January 25th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Soul says: - animegirl07 on January 25th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Soul says: - baehj2915 on January 25th, 2008 09:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Soul says: - tiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Soul says: - baehj2915 on January 26th, 2008 03:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
that weirdo with the notebookfool_of_ships on January 25th, 2008 08:55 am (UTC)
You're right about slower being better on this. My mental Grunny voice just started reading it like an audiobook and it worked great. :) I especially liked the bit about deductive reasoning...yay for Detective!Matt! And here's to unlimited cuteness and kissage, first or otherwise. :)
Tiptoe39: happytiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 12:43 pm (UTC)
here, hear. i'll drink to that!
imeru on January 25th, 2008 04:46 pm (UTC)
Oh, God. I'm giggling and squeeing like an idiot. So cute.
Tiptoe39: chaotiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
thank you. i love idiocy. it makes me feel smart by comparison :D
The Soul says: - imeru on January 25th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
plotbunny_tiffplotbunny_tiff on January 25th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
One of these days I'm going to have to make a chart of all the ways I've praised you in the past so I don't repeat myself.

You aren't making things any easier by continuously outdoing yourself. My mind is a feeble thing and cannot keep pace with your awesome talent.

::sigh:: Such *trials* you put me through, dearest darlingist Tippy. ::dramatic flail::

And to top it off, this line:Well, he's always in front of a microscope, so maybe he sweats the small stuff is a Gold Star line. ^_^
Tiptoe39: cmere youtiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
Just tell me where the gold star lines are, then you won't repeat yourself.. :helpful tippy:

Thank you! i loved that line too and i hoped someone would not just find it totally groan-worthy.

:hugs:
Tanitani on January 25th, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
Hehe, I loved this. I adore Matt, so his whole inner monologue was great, and the ending line was just perfect. ♥
Tiptoe39: force matttiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
I adore him too, because he's adorable! and adorkable! And :drool:

So glad you liked
Ally, at your service!animegirl07 on January 25th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
Whee! More kisses! So cute!

And I totally squeed when I saw the e-mail alert, and you made my day better! (Sickness = MAJOR NOT FUN)

*lovelovelove* (From a distance, of course. No passing of infections/sickness/whatever.)
Tiptoe39: washuutiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 07:22 pm (UTC)
you have an email alert on mee??? *blushblushblush*

Hope you feel better!
The Soul says: - animegirl07 on January 25th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Soul says: - tiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Soul says: - animegirl07 on January 26th, 2008 12:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
Trini: Awesometrinipedia on January 25th, 2008 08:28 pm (UTC)
this is by far one of the best.

I love the music in it, and you're right: read it slowly is the best way to enjoy it.

Thanks once again *.*
Tiptoe39: pridetiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!
The Soul says: - trinipedia on January 25th, 2008 10:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Carmexgirlcarmexgirl on January 25th, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC)
Awww this was so sweet and lovely!

Keep writing those kisses, cos I can't get enough of them!
Tiptoe39: pridetiptoe39 on January 25th, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC)
I enjoy writing them... :-) hugs!
carma_baby: goddesscarma_baby on January 26th, 2008 06:05 am (UTC)
I'm Broody Moody Matt the Sad Sack = best description/nickname EVER in life.

I love that, even when I go away, there is always this lovely collection of stories for me to come back to and read that you have written and they are always brilliant and lovely and make me want to be loved like that...

Sometimes I wish you could write my love story, because I think it would be exquisite to live. Then I remember that things don't work that way. And I am sad but also pretty sure you should be relieved.

And I have once more moved into the realm of babbling. So I am going to go and let you enjoy the words- amazing, exquisite, lovely, and brilliant.
boudecia7boudecia7 on January 26th, 2008 06:49 am (UTC)
Another kiss, and it's perfection as usual :) This was so sweet and cute. I'm all kinds of smiley now.
The Soul says: - tiptoe39 on January 26th, 2008 11:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
The Soul says: - tiptoe39 on January 26th, 2008 11:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
baby_werewolf: yaybaby_werewolf on January 27th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
wheee, MORE KISSES :D

Mohinder's in love with me. How amazing is that? <<<< SO ADORABLE!
Tiptoe39: chaotiptoe39 on January 27th, 2008 06:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :huggles:!
teecub on February 5th, 2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
Awwww! This was really adorable! I love it until the last line that you have any idea Matt accepts what is going on! Hehe! so CUTE! Thanks for sharing <3
Tiptoe39: mattmo justkisstiptoe39 on February 5th, 2008 08:59 pm (UTC)
i don't think Matt himself has any idea until the last line... :D thank you!
saavikam77: Matt/Mohinder - Minesaavikam77 on February 21st, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
Hee hee!! ^_^ Gods, I love this! Of course, it would happen that the obvious would come *after* the series was over. :p

But Matt's internal dialogue was so adorable! The way he went from being slightly uncomfortable and annoyed to not even quite realizing that he was kissing Mohinder. :p Fantastic!
kurushi: shinykurushi on February 27th, 2008 02:25 pm (UTC)
I have never encountered before, ever, a fic that has made me feel as if I had just eaten a sweet overdose of the most awesome chocolate, that sweet crazy unbearable feeling.

I love it when prose evokes actual feelings in me; thank you so much for making a fic that feels like chocolate in my heart ^_^
Tiptoe39: fanfictiptoe39 on February 27th, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC)
yay!!! :----D I strongly recommend Kiss #23 if you like chocolate.... ;-) :-)

so glad you liked!
fullonswayzeed on March 19th, 2008 04:39 am (UTC)
Awwww. *dies* This made me all tingly inside. :3
cmarie972cmarie972 on April 17th, 2009 05:32 pm (UTC)
This fic is one of my favorites. I know it is late to talk about it (15 months!), but I was reading it for the xxxth time, and I wanted to tell you. Please keep going, you are amazing!
P.S: Sorry for my english.
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on April 17th, 2009 06:06 pm (UTC)
D'awww! thank you so much! It's always nice to get comments on old fic. They are still beloved in my mind so it's nice to see them get some love <3

I have a master list of fic at the top of my journal and if you see that you'll know that "keep going" is my middle name ^_^ yes, I am self-pimp central :D Thanks again!