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05 July 2010 @ 06:40 pm
[ficlet] On a Boat (Sam/Gabriel, PG-13)  
Title: On a Boat
Prompt: boat ride
Fandom/Characters: Supernatural, Sam/Gabriel
Medium: fic
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: It might smell bad.
Summary: Sam's on a boat. For schmoop_bingo!

Sam's head hurt. That awful pulsing hurting you got when you woke up and couldn't place where you were, or what had happened to put you out in the first place. His hand crawled to the top of his head, gingerly, expecting to rub against the tender skin of a bruise.

There was no bruise. There was, however, a sort of sick sensation of rocking. And a smell.

"A boat?" he said to no one in particular.

"Yep," no one in particular replied.

Sam scrambled upright. His head spun, and his limbs seemed to fold in on themselves as he fought for balance. The stench was in his nostrils now, choking him, and his stomach lurched. "What... Gabriel? What the--"

Gabriel waved to him from a crude wooden berth, where he was lying on his stomach on a musty, lopsided mattress, eating Hershey's Miniatures. Sam covered his mouth. The chocolate smell managed to make the queasy rocking and digusting stench even worse. "How can you-- where are we?"

"On a boat!" Gabriel gloated, smiling wide. Smudges of brown at the corners of his mouth made him look like a bizarre, mangy clown.

"Yeah, I got that."

"I'm ON A BOAT!" Gabriel sat up without pushing himself off his stomach -- his whole body just sort of folded itself upward in a nonplussed dismissal of gravity. "I'm on a boat!"

Sam squinted at him, hand still loosely cupped over his mouth. The rocking had become somewhat more tolerable, but the smell still turned his stomach. "Why do you keep saying that?"

"Don't you listen to the radio?"


"Oh, that's right, Dean has sentenced you to a lifetime of AC/DC. Never mind." Gabriel shrugged and went back to double-fisting Mr. Goodbars.



"It smells like sh--"

"Oh, crap. I forgot. Sorry about that." A snap of his fingers. Sam tentatively inhaled. Now it smelled like an opium den, or like someone set fire to an incense store. But it was better than the previous odor. Sam lowered his hand and took a moment to look around.

This was no yacht. The whole place was constructed from very old-looking planks of wood, and the chamber they were in was low-ceilinged and cramped. Gabriel got up off the bed and stretched. "After a while you forget about the smell here."

"Where is here?"

Gabriel shook his head. "No fun that way. See if you can guess."

Puzzled, Sam looked around. There was no indication or clue of any sort. No decorations, no papers, no markings on the wood. "I don't know."

"You don't have to stay here, you know. Go out, take a look around. It'll come to you."

Sam ducked his head to pass through the low doorway -- low enough that even Gabriel had to bend his knees in order to follow him through. The hallway was as dark and nondescript as the room they'd been in. Only sliver-sized cracks in the planking let any light in.

"People were a lot shorter in those days," Gabriel said. "Except for the giants."

Sam ignored him and made his way down the hall. He squinted at the cracks in the wood, tried in vain to see out, and when that failed he chose a doorway at random to stoop and squeeze through.

"Wait for it," muttered Gabriel. "Three.. two... one..."

A sharp gasp sounded. Gabriel cocked his head, shrugged, and followed.

The room Sam had entered was enormous. Row after row of booths, of all shapes and sizes, separated from one another by thick slats of wood and crude hinges. The ceiling stretched thirty feet above their heads, and in the rafters hung a thicket of crisscrossing beams.

"It's huge."

"Mm-hm." Gabriel opened and closed one of the stall doors. "Three hundred cubits, if I recall correctly."

"Did you just say cubits?"


"Wait a sec."

Gabriel grinned. "Come on, Sherlock, any minute now."

Sam looked into a stall. The floor was worn by what looked like hoofprints.

"The smell," he said, and then, "Oh, my God."

"Well, yes, but I helped."

Sam whirled on him. "You kidnapped me to Noah's Ark!?"

"Kidnapped is such a strong word. I'd prefer borrowed. Or spirited away, if you go in for that."

"The real Noah's Ark?" Sam turned around and around. All at once he could imagine the gigantic room filled to capacity, every stall occupied by a pair of animals that fit it exactly. Here, tiny turtles; over there, sheep; in that corner, lions. Giraffe heads poking up through the air. Birds perching in the rafters. The whole place alive with brays and roars. All the variety on Earth, every color in the rainbow that, long ago, they'd waited forty days and forty nights to see.

He faced Gabriel, his eyes bright. "Wow."

"Right?" Gabriel looked inordinately pleased with himself. "Right?"

Sam shook his head, laughing. "Unbelievable. So... why bring me here?"

Gabriel smoothed back his hair and fixed Sam in his sights. "Do you remember the story?" he said. "They had to bring two of each kind. Why do you think that was?"

"'Cause they had to mate, right?" Sam's eyes kept flying up to the ceiling or over to one corner or the next.

"Correct. Now. With that in mind, why do you think I brought you here?"

That brought the searching eyes back down toward Gabriel's face. Gabriel smiled, grabbed the front of Sam's shirt, and yanked.

A long kiss later, Sam said in a shaky voice, "So let me get this straight. You brought me here because you wanted to get it on?"

Gabriel's eyebrows rose and fell. "Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."


The smack of Gabriel's palm against his forehead echoed in the giant room. "You really don't listen to the radio, do you?"

"I told you, no!"

But Sam still had his arms around him. Gabriel wormed in closer. "Never mind. Let's rock this boat."

speccygeekgrrl on July 5th, 2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, it's always nice when someone besides Castiel doesn't understand a pop culture reference. xD This made me giggle.
Tiptoe39: fanfictiptoe39 on July 5th, 2010 11:04 pm (UTC)
Oh good. Thus is the point of schmoop waff whatever it is :D :D

Thanks babe, sorry to glut your flist with a sudden schmoop dump :D
Emily.  Just Emily.: SPN - Sam's Happy Mealdarth_firefly on July 6th, 2010 12:41 am (UTC)
This is good. Please excuse me while I try to stop chuckling.
Tiptoe39: gabriel awesometiptoe39 on July 6th, 2010 01:25 am (UTC)
I have no intention of excusing you. Keep chuckling. :D
Emily.  Just Emily.: SPN - Gossip Casdarth_firefly on July 6th, 2010 02:11 am (UTC)
Meanwhile, I'm stuck in angstville in both my fics...

...what fun.
Tiptoe39: being human suckstiptoe39 on July 6th, 2010 02:17 am (UTC)
All the more reason to chuckle.


You'll make it!!
Emily.  Just Emily.: SPN - Cas and Deandarth_firefly on July 6th, 2010 02:45 am (UTC)
Yup - even if no one is reading the longer one. Or if they are, they don't comment. Ah well... such is the life!
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on July 6th, 2010 11:55 am (UTC)
oh, it sucks when your baby is unappreciated! Drop me a link, I'll make it a project. I don't expect today to be a heavy work day. <3333
Emily.  Just Emily.: SPN - Fireman Deandarth_firefly on July 6th, 2010 12:00 pm (UTC)
This is where it starts:


There's fifteen chapters after that one... and I'm off to work...
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on July 6th, 2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
Is that the only chapter you have up? Are you still looking for a beta?
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on July 7th, 2010 12:16 pm (UTC)

All right, I have my project for the week. <3 Upon further reflection, though, I'd better not jump in the beta pool, because I have a nasty habit of dropping the ball on such things. But I willl read & enjoy!!! :D
twfftwtfwftw on July 7th, 2010 05:18 pm (UTC)
Heeeee hee hee. Awesome.
Tiptoe39: team free willtiptoe39 on July 7th, 2010 05:30 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks! I'm glad you liked. We still gotta get you that rename token, btw. It's $15.
twfftwtfwftw on July 7th, 2010 09:50 pm (UTC)
hee, thanks. It's on the list, below "finish that fixit for noneeca" and "finish those two crossovers that won't make sense to anyone else" and... :)
{ embracing the storm }: SPN: Sam/Gabemithrel on July 8th, 2010 03:33 am (UTC)
OMG! I was thinking of the Lonely Island when I read the title and then you had Gabriel quote it. *gleeee* And I knew where they were as soon as Gabriel said after awhile you forget about the smell. He took Sam to Noah's Ark to have sex! BWAHAHA! And the last bit! This was awesome and Gabriel's taste in music makes so much sense.
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on July 8th, 2010 03:37 am (UTC)
Hahaha!!! :D You want to know something funny, I've never heard either of those songs all the way through, but they are quoted and parodied so many times in fandom that I know enough to write a fic on them!

Gabriel WOULD think Noah's Ark is kinky. Poor boy, no taste. :DDD I'm so glad this pleased you!
denazia on July 12th, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)
OMC! I totally didn't see that coming!!! Noah's Ark indeed. So very clever you are. So totally and wondefully Gabriel in it's Gabrielness :D I would not have even thought of that and I think I have the same prompt on my card.
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on July 13th, 2010 01:56 pm (UTC)
I can't take total credit for the idea, pandatini mentioned Noah's Ark and BANG I knew what I had to write. :DDD Glad you liked it!
Captain Nommers of the Tastypants Brigade: sam - happy squishfaced grinsecondplatypus on August 1st, 2010 01:01 am (UTC)

"Oh, that's right, Dean has sentenced you to a lifetime of AC/DC. Never mind." Gabriel shrugged and went back to double-fisting Mr. Goodbars.

Noah's Ark? NOAH'S ARK?
There should be a law against making a person laugh that hard. Seriously. My stomach muscles are going to ache for at least an hour.
I salute you, brilliant creature that you are!
Tiptoe39: Sam suprisedtiptoe39 on August 1st, 2010 01:46 am (UTC)
Heeee! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed it!! I had so much fun writing it. <3
vampyrerangervampyreranger on October 14th, 2010 05:38 am (UTC)
That's AMAZING! Gabriel would totally bring Sam to Noah's Arc for nookie.
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on October 14th, 2010 11:08 am (UTC)
It's kind of like making out in Dad's car.... ^_@

Thanks so much!! :D