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21 December 2010 @ 12:47 am
[twitfic compilation] Wipe off that angel face (and go back to high school) 1:3/3  
Title: Wipe off that angel face (and go back to high school)
Volume 1: Bully and the Beast (Chapter 3 of 3)
Author: tiptoe39
Rating: PG
Summary: Sam/Gabriel High school AU. WIP. Done through twitfic / twitlonger. Thanks to jabber_moose for an amazing title!!
Previous chapters: One | Two

Because you're dying to know, no, Sam didn't kiss Jessica that night. There was the awkward, wavering moment of maybe-sort-of-how, but then Jess nipped it in the bud by leaning forward on her tiptoes and brushing her lips against his jaw (she isn't tall enough for his cheek) before retreating behind her front door. Sam stands there for a confused, befuddled moment, with the knowledge that his chin now felt a little bit... wet.

News spreads fast, and by Monday morning second period the whole school knows Sam and Jess are "going out." Which is more than having "gone out," and is certainly way more than a "date."

Sarah and Jess comment on this in tandem. "Just face it," Sarah says, and Jess finishes: "We've been promoted."

Sam takes this as a sign that he's now required to hold Jess's hand in the hall.

Holding her hand is fine. It's pleasant. It doesn't fill him with joy or anything. Although over the next week her reaction seems to change. The next weekend, after ice cream and a football game, they sit on the bleachers watching the sun go down. And when he takes her hand, she beams at him

"I'm glad you asked me out," she says, looking over at him coyly.


"So, Sam." She sits a little closer. "Are you ever gonna kiss me?"

His jaw locks in place, and he has to force it open with extreme strength of will. "I thought you said I shouldn't--"

"Well." Her eyes go round, and hollow, and a little empty. "Not if you don't want to."

"I don't know," he says, feeling lost and a little bit like he's underwater. "I don't know. Maybe... not right now, but soon?"

She nods. "It's cool."

He really has the feeling it's not.

"Wait. I'm sorry. I think I misheard you. Run that by me again. She said KISS ME, and you said MAYBE LATER?"

Dean looks pretty much like he's going to blow his gourd. Sam's starting to rethink having come to him for help, although Dean has been pretty reliable when it comes to dating advice. He keeps hoping for support he isn't getting. From Dean, from Gabriel, from everyone. Even Mom looked at him funny and said, "Now, Sam, I don't think that's very nice." Mom, who used to visibly shudder at the very idea of her babies growing up and kissing girls!

"I wasn't ready!" Sam says. He buries his face in his pillow. It's embarrassing enough to have Dean wandering into his room looking askance at all his books. He always says there's way too much culture in the room.

Dean sits down on the bed, and Sam turns over grudgingly to face him. "Sammy. Do you not want to kiss her?"

"It's not that, I'm just..." Sam looks everywhere but his brother's face, as though an answer might appear written in the sky. "I'm nervous."

"So's she! And you're making her more nervous every time. Dude. Just get it over with. You'll feel better. All first kisses suck anyway."

"You're a real romantic, Dean," Sam says, tossing a halfhearted punch in his direction.

"Weak," says Dean, and whaps Sam in the shoulder.

They're 10 minutes into a scuffle before Mom screams upstairs about what the hell are they doing.

Gabriel agrees with Dean. At least, Sam thinks he does. It's hard to tell with Gabriel. But he does at the very least utter the words "Hell, yeah, kiss her."

"Really?" Sam looks forlorn.

"Yeah. It's a kiss, dude, not the end of the world. Pop in some breath minds and show her the magic." Gabriel punctuates his statement with jazz hands.

"Huh." Sam runs his fingers through his hair. "You really think it's the right thing to do?"

"Only time will tell," Gabriel says. "Either way, it's hardly the stupidest mistake you could make in your life. Right?"

Sam's quiet. He's trying to imagine how the moment will play out. A brush of lips? Dry? Wet? Will she try to stick her tongue in his mouth? Will it feel all slimy? Afterward, will he want to do it again? What if he doesn't?

A thrill goes through him an instant before he realizes Gabriel's hand's on his shoulder.

"Look," he says, and he doesn't disguise the grudging note in his voice. "I guess I was wrong about you. If you really like this girl, then-- do what you gotta do."

Sam's going to open his mouth, going to say "But what if I don't?" when his eyes fall onto Gabriel's lips.

They're lips he trusts. They're lips that have hurt him and soothed him, made him laugh, made him so happy. The things they say, the things they don't.

And Gabriel eats so much candy. Maybe... maybe they taste sweet.

He breaks away, his heart pounding, and turns. "Maybe," he says, in a shaking voice. "Maybe you're right."


He doesn't need to turn around to see the slightly lost look in Gabriel's eyes, see the slight purse to those...

those lips....

"Thanks," he says, briefly, and walks away with his whole heart burning.

Sam thinks about it.

He thinks about it through a long quiet weekend. He thinks about it through another shameful shower where he tries to imagine kissing Jess while beating off but can't keep the image in his head.

And he thinks about it throughout the movie they're watching in the downstairs den, with her parents up above doing the dishes after a really amazing dinner. Sam's full of lasagna to the extent that he feels like a super-sized Garfield. Jess asks if that makes her Odie, and he declares she's too cute for Odie, she'd be Nermal.

"Gabriel would be a good Odie," he said. "Or, actually, he's too snarky for Odie. He'd be Garfield and I'd be the big dumb Odie."

"If Gabriel's Garfield," Jess says, looking away, "I'm Jon." She gives a sigh.


"Nothing." She leans forward, pretending to be interested in the movie.

He touches her shoulder, then slides his arm around it. The motion is entirely natural, entirely without friction or excitement of any kind. If his heart is pounding, it's because he knows this is the moment his heart is supposed to pound, and if he screws it up, he'll always have to live with that.

She turns. In the TV's light, she does look very pretty. Her hair glows as though phosphorescent.

"Sam?" she says. He leans toward her, determination in his eyes.

Her hands come up to to touch his chest as their lips meet. It feels like lips. Like dry paper. His brain is thinking dumbly, "I'm kissing her. I'm kissing her." He tries to wrap his mind around the significance of the moment.

At once he feels her hands shaking on his shirt. He pulls back to look, his tongue swiping out to lick his lips. He tastes salt.

She tries to blink away the tears, but they won't stop, and she eventually pulls back her hand to wipe them away. Her face is red, but in the dimness it glows pink instead.

"I can't do this," she says. "I can't do this anymore."

"What?" He's scared to death. He hurt her. "Jess, I'm sorry - what, what did I do?"

"I like you, Sam," she says. "I mean, I always liked you, but.. you're so nice and you're making me really, really like you--"

"I like you too!" he insists. God, he's terrified. What has he done? What did he do?

"No, you don't!" she says. "Not that way." Her hands cover her face and she breathes hard for a moment. "I want to stay friends with you, Sam. So I have to -- we have to break up. Okay? I'm sorry."

He doesn't even remember how he makes it home that night. The next thing he knows, he's in bed, staring straight at the ceiling, convinced that Gabriel's been right all this time. He's not a nice person at all.

If people getting together is the fastest-traveling news at Lawrence high, people breaking up is the tortoise to that hare. Sam is convinced it is done this way for maximum torture. This way, he has to personally tell everyone he talks to, and go through the whole sordid affair time after time after time.

Gabriel, for example, greets him on their favorite corner of the field with a "So? So? How'd it go? Did you see fireworks and hear symphonies play?"

"Uh, no," Sam says, trying to stay serious in the fake of Gabriel's out-of-nowhere impression of a crazed orchestra conductor. "Not exactly."

"Well, now that my little boy's all grown up, I thought I'd give you a present." Gabriel fishes through his backpack and pulls out a gigantic pair of boobs with a magazine cover attached to them.

"Penthouse?" Sam almost chokes. "Who in the hell let you buy this? You look, like, eight!"

"Eh, I stole it from Michael's bag when he came home from the store," Gabriel says with a shrug. "He accuses me of stealing them all the time, anyway. Figured I might as well live up to his expectations for once."

Sam flips it open. "Whoa," he says, unsure how to begin to process what he sees.

"Yeah, that's pretty impressive all right," Gabriel says. "How many times do you suppose she had to do that until they got the lighting right? My back would start to hurt."

This draws a laugh from Sam. He leans closer to Gabriel, and they flip through the pages together, occasionally making jokes, or sounds of appreciation or disgust for the sheer absurdity of the photographs. The whole time, their knees are brushing, and Sam can feel it every time Gabriel swallows, can see the dimples form every time he laughs. Sam turns a page and his fingers meet Gabriel's on the other side. Time seems to jell until it's practically standing still.

"Here, you better take this with you," Gabriel says finally, when they've been through most of it and it's getting dark. "Help you deal with that little problem when you get home." He nods significantly at Sam's crotch, slaps him on the back, and goes.

Sam reaches down and adjusts himself. Absolutely nothing in that magazine had anything to do with why he's so turned on right now. And then he realizes he never got around to telling Gabriel that Jess broke up with him.

That night he slides the magazine under his bed and closes his eyes, stroking himself to sleep thinking of dimples and an Adam's apple bobbing up and down. He'll have to thank Gabriel in the morning.

Gabriel is having a hell of a weird year.

First thing when he comes into his homeroom and there's this guy who irritates the shit out of him. He's all mousy and weird, and he's way too big to ignore. Gabriel's got enough of a short complex without having Bullwinkle there to make him feel even more like Rocky the Flying Squirrel. So he overcompensates, he teases, he tries to get the bee out of his bonnet that seems to have lodged itself there ever since Sam Winchester sat, staring into space, two desks across and one down from Gabriel's favorite spot.

Guy's hard as hell to figure out. so Gabriel keeps clawing at him like a squirrel with a stubborn nut, keeps scratching and biting until he forgets to think about it. Problem with doing something like that is sometimes you end up scratching yourself instead of the nut. And Gabriel begins to crack his own shell, see his own self in a different light. And then Sam stands up to him, finally, and Gabriel knows, then, exactly what's been going on.

He stops with the teasing then, because he is a little scared now, scared to scratch too hard at either of their surfaces. Gabriel's not good at being nice, and he seems to have found away to be nice to Sam, finally. They're actually friends, and Gabriel's not going to screw that up, no way. At least not by scaring the crap out of him by admitting what he's already amazed he can admit to himself.

Besides. despite his hopes and his hints and his best intentions, Sam's just not interested. It's taken Gabriel a while to admit that to himself -- holding out false hope has always been one of his specialties. He mopes about it and sulks about it and is convinced his life sucks for a good long while, and then gets over it and goes on being friends with Sam the way he always wants to. The last thing he wants to do is lose that.

So he embraces the tragic-hero aspect of the story. He'll soldier on, by Sam's side, always looking and never touching. He even brings Sam a frigging girlie magazine for God's sake. And he will live with his unrequited crush for as long as he can, because despite his best efforts Sam means something to him. More than as a friend, more than as a crush. Sam is one in a zillion.

And just when he thinks he's restored normalcy, he hears Jessica Moore saying, "I'm not gonna be his beard."

Gabriel stops. Hopes he isn't seen. Ducks behind the row of lockers.

"Come on," Madison's saying. "he can't be."

"You didn't spend three weeks going out with the guy," Jessica chides her. "He's all he ever talks about. It's insane. Someone has to tell him he's gay before he sprains something swimming in denial."

"I think you're overreacting."

"You think what you want. Personally, I think someone needs to shove him in a closet just so he can come out of it," Jessica says, slamming her locker closed. Gabriel can't even hear the thud over the roaring of his own heart. All the doors he's locked up tight have started rattling at the same time, begging to be opened again. But what can he do about it? He's finally found a way to live with himself. He doesn't think he has the courage -- or energy -- to push farther. Not now that this year has finally started to feel somewhat normal. He won't be the one to push it back over the edge.

"So is there anything in particular you want to tell me?" Gabriel says as he slings himself on top of Sam's desk in homeroom. He can sit on the desk without toppling the whole thing over specifically because Sam's weight on the seat keeps it anchored down. Any less substantial weight on the seesaw and Gabriel would end up rump on the floor.

"Hm?" Sam looks up at him innocently. "About what? Oh, right. I wanted to thank you for the, erm, you know, that thing you got me."

Gabriel's heart sinks. Straighter than advertised. maybe Jessica was just imagining things. "Anything else?"

Sam thinks briefly. "Not that I can think of?"

"Really?" Gabriel pops off the desk, circles Sam, leans over his shoulder. "Nothing about the little lady? You know... Miss Ex?"

Sam turns then, looks up, guilt plastered on his face. "How'd you find out?"

His face is so close to Gabriel's - with Sam sitting and Gabriel standing, the height difference is reversed. Gabriel has to take a step back to maintain his balance. "Heard her talking about it. You are a lousy friend, you know. You're supposed to keep me updated. Or at least change your Facebook status." He rolls his eyes.


"So you gonna tell me what happened?"

Sam shrugs. "Nothing. We just ... it didn't work out, is all."


"Gabriel." Sam frowns. "Even if it was some tortured story, you think I'm gonna tell you in the middle of homeroom?"

Gabriel looks away from Sam's face for the first time since he came over. He can practically SEE all the ears straining to hear. "Hm. Good point."

Sam gives him an I-told-you-so smile. Gabriel grins back. No matter what happened, they'll always have this. The easy comfort between them, the effortless conversation and understanding. That's something Gabriel can count on.

Too bad he can also count on it hurting like hell. But pain is a point of pride for lots of guys. Gabriel will bear his with pride. It beats the hell out of daily chin-ups.


Next: Volume 2: You Gotta Be Honestly Sincere

cassiopeia7: christmas: jared_antlerscassiopeia7 on December 22nd, 2010 04:42 pm (UTC)
There's MORE fic!! WOOHOO! I've got some catching up to do!
sin_stained_ink on December 27th, 2010 03:19 am (UTC)
"Someone has to tell him he's gay before he sprains something swimming in denial."

"I think someone needs to shove him in a closet just so he can come out of it,"

*dies laughing*

It's after three in the morning and I really shouldn't still be up but I just read through the three parts of this and oh my gods, there's more to come?!

*head explodes*

I love Sam/Gabriel AUs. There should be more.

Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on December 27th, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)

There's tons more already XD Two parts of V2 are up already, and if you go through the comments on part 1:2, you can find the individual twitfics and read way ahead XD

I'm so glad you're enjoying this! I am having such fun continuing to write it <3
mancrave: Nikemancrave on February 3rd, 2012 01:19 am (UTC)
One. Dean's reaction was so very Dean. Love.

Two. Jess, you knew better before it even started sweetheart *hugs*

Three. Shove him in a closet just so he can come out of it? Genius bit of writing right there.

Four. Come on Sammy! It really isn't that hard to figure it out.

Five. Gabriel. It's that cute animal again. I just want to hug him and tell him it'll all work out sooner or later.

*hoping for sooner, hoping for sooner, hoping for sooner*
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on February 3rd, 2012 01:34 am (UTC)
she really did. but she had to. Sigh. *smushes Jess.* hope you enjoy part 2 which is one of my favorites :D