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28 April 2011 @ 08:38 pm
Random Dean/Cas  

Castiel is still sitting on Bobby's chair in the den after Dean returns from a long-awaited shower to wash off the dust of the Wild West. In Bobby's absence, Castiel takes up the mantle of grumpy old man and wears it damn well, presiding over the room with labored attempts to sit up straight, groans, and reproachful glances at Dean, like it's Dean's fault Castiel's not feeling well. Dean would be insulted if it weren't for the rush of concern he gets when he sees the blood still oozing from beneath the bandage across Castiel's side.

"How's it feel?" Dean crosses the room to take a closer look.

Castiel opens his coat gingerly. His shirt's unbuttoned, hanging loosely around him, a brown-red blotch adorning the left side like an oversized rose. "It will heal," Castiel reminds him testily.

"That's not what I asked," Dean says. "I asked you how it feels."

Castiel glares at him. "Painful."

Dean sits down in beside him on the couch. "Let me see," he says, and the protest is on the tip of Castiel's tongue, very nearly bitten off into the air, when Dean's fingers slide along the contours of the bandage, pulling on the bare curve of Castiel's waist to twist him closer.

Instead, Castiel's eyelashes flutter, and his gaze catches Dean's. "Thank you," he says.

Weirdly embarrassed, Dean lowers his eyes to examine the wound. "Yeah, of course," he mumbles, and his fingers spread across the corners of the bandage so he can see how the skin flexes there, how deep and wide the bleeding might go. It looks to be fairly contained. If this were Sam he'd do with a few stitches; Castiel doesn't even need that. He nods, as though agreeing with himself in a silent conversation, and folds in his lips to press them together.

"Dean." Castiel's voice wobbles at the edge of his perception. "I--"

The word catches, and the sentence dies there. False starts are so unlike Cas, Dean looks up again in surprise. "What?"

Castiel looks as stunned as Dean is at the sudden uncooperativeness of his voice. He squints, almost crosses his eyes, and chews on his lip briefly. He finally settles on words -- Dean can see his eyes glint with the decision -- and says, gingerly, as though stepping on sharp stones, "I do not wish to appear selfish."

Dean thinks about pointing out that he and Sam are the selfish ones, at least according to Castiel's late cohort, but Castiel's a breath away, Dean's hand still splayed against his torso, and there isn't room for his bravado in so small a space. "OK," he says, just as carefully. "But..?"

Castiel is still calculating his next words. "But," he echoes, and then swallows, stiffening in sudden pain as his chest rises, "I am having a difficult time." A soft, surprised chuckle follows the words. "That is an understatement."

His eyes crinkle at the outside edges, Dean realizes. Has he ever noticed that before? Or is Castiel starting to show fatigue and age in his vessel's face now? Dean's chest hurts, and he fights back an isolated urge to run his fingers along the telltale lines. Instead, he presses his hand along Castiel's side a mite harder, fingers slipping around to hold instead of just feel. A moment later, Castiel's weight leans into the grip, and Dean can feel him exhale, feel his ribs relax as air whooshes out of him. It's a good feeling, to be witness to the release of tension. Dean feels himself relaxing in sympathy.

"I know you are," he says. "And Cas, if there's anything we can do--"

"This," Castiel says. "Do this." A warm insistence to his voice, an urgency Dean's never heard from him before, at least, not for his own sake alone. Before, it was always matters of heavenly war or earthly apocalypse that brought out the growl in his tone, but--

And Dean's thoughts skid off a cliff into nothing as Castiel's head bobs, then nods against Dean's chest.

Dean's first response is to panic. "Cas? Did you pass out?" But Castiel's breath is now rising and falling against his skin, and he's wormed his way closer. Another breath and Castiel's hand has found Dean's hip, pulling his body in with a sharp tug on bone and a shift of weight.

They're flush now, Castiel's chest pressed into Dean's, and his head bobs briefly against Dean's shoulder before burrowing in. Dean's fingers are still captive at Castiel's waist, tugging harder despite the voice in Dean's head that says this is dangerous, this is uncharted territory. His mind is racing, fear and nerves and embarrassment cooking up a million questions in his head - what's wrong with him? Am I doing something wrong? Should I break away?

But for all the scampering of unruly thoughts in his head, his body feels warm, languid, accepting. His arm has slid back now, nestling in the small of Castiel's back, and the expanse of skin against his forearm isn't scary, isn't wrong, doesn't feel dangerous. It's just there, constant, radiating heat at him, and the heat's seeping into Dean's bones too, pulling him closer. Making him want more.

"Cas?" he manages to whisper, his lips dangerously close to Castiel's ear now, and the dark hair shakes in response. Castiel doesn't want to answer. Of course he doesn't, Dean thinks. He's even more out of his depth right now than Dean is. His arm tightens on Castiel's back at the thought. As lost as he is, Castiel has it worse. At least Dean knows the language of bodies touching. He can guide Cas through this new experience. He can be useful to him like that.

His hand hovers on Castiel's shoulder, then slides down across his back, tugging, bringing Castiel's weight down against him. A gasp sounds sharp against his shoulder, and Dean smiles, settling back into the couch cushions and gazing up at the ceiling through half-lidded eyes. "It's OK, Cas," he says, feeling like he's gone back in time, feeling like the big brother cradling a crying Sam in his arms again. "I'm here. You're OK."

A whimper sounds, soft, near his ear. Dean's eyes close. This much he can do.

(Sequel is here.)
Hilshils on April 29th, 2011 12:42 am (UTC)
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:55 am (UTC)
:D :D :D
Laurenjabber_moose on April 29th, 2011 12:46 am (UTC)
The cuddling was really just to cushion the blow for the heartbreak, wasn't it?

Tiptoe39: sad serenitytiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:55 am (UTC)
awwww, i hope not!!
(Deleted comment)
Tiptoe39: girlytiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:56 am (UTC)
thank youuu!
Agnes: Castielbientot on April 29th, 2011 12:50 am (UTC)
What hils said only more! That whimper - that was MEEEE, grinning like an idiot with maybe a tiny (manly!) tear in my eye...
Tiptoe39: chibi utenatiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:57 am (UTC)
Well. As long as the tear is MANLY.
Thank you!
Jena Bartleyjenab on April 29th, 2011 12:50 am (UTC)
I love a good cuddling fic just like this one.
Tiptoe39: dean/castiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:57 am (UTC)
I'm glad to give you what you like! <3
zatnikatel: Cas close upzatnikatel on April 29th, 2011 12:57 am (UTC)
God, I needed this so damn much right now. It's lovely. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

At least Dean knows the language of bodies touching… That is just gorgeous. They don't really need words and that seems more i-c anyway.
Tiptoe39: team free willtiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:58 am (UTC)
I'm so glad it hit the spot, hon. Sweetest tweets ever to read on the metro on the way home btw. *cuddles*
Morgan O'Connermorganoconner on April 29th, 2011 01:09 am (UTC)
Oh... I have giant hearts in my eyes right now. That was perfect, bb. ♥
Tiptoe39: tamakitiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 02:00 am (UTC)
oh yay!!! \o/ *huggles*
rockstarpeachrockstarpeach on April 29th, 2011 01:15 am (UTC)
I can't... I just...

Hold me, Tippy. That was beautiful.

Tiptoe39: dinahtiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 02:00 am (UTC)
XD XD XD I shall hold you and we shall shed perfect emo tears of joy and cuddliness :D

thank you hon!!
harper47harper47 on April 29th, 2011 01:32 am (UTC)
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I repeat, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Loves this so much!
Tiptoe39: hai sou desutiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 02:02 am (UTC)
Is this a test of the emergency awwwwwwlert system? XD

Thank you hon!!!!! LOVE YOU (and loove stubble!icons so much) <3
Gedrygedry on April 29th, 2011 02:06 am (UTC)
Oh so warm and fuzzy now.
Tiptoe39: glomp - Escaflownetiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 02:07 am (UTC)
Like a Muppet just out of the dryer.

(i have no idea where that came from XD)

Glad you liked it honey!!!
The Soul says: - gedry on April 29th, 2011 02:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
9tiptoes9tiptoes on April 29th, 2011 02:18 am (UTC)
so wonderful! It's so on the verge of slash and yet perfectly canon. I love this.
"This much he can do." - Dean is the ultimate big brother.
Tiptoe39: dean - not awesometiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 12:57 pm (UTC)
Yes! Yes, he is, isn't he? Seriously, with Sammy all grown up, Dean needs to do that protective thing with someone. Cas should let him. <3

Thank you, honey!
Kevin Jonesmulder200 on April 29th, 2011 03:00 am (UTC)
You tease!

Still, this is so cute and heartwarming!
Tiptoe39: being human suckstiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 12:58 pm (UTC)
Aww, sorry about the teasing! :D Glad you enjoyed!
(Deleted comment)
Tiptoe39: girlgamertiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:00 pm (UTC)
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee XD Translation: first eeeeeees are for you commenting on my fic since you are a goddess of awesome and must have squads of fangirls competing for your attention, and second eeeeeeees are for giffage which is perfect, and the last couple of eeees are for OH COME HERE HONEY LET ME HUG YOU.

IDK I just watched a wedding on teevee and am silly.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Melaniemelalucci on April 29th, 2011 04:34 am (UTC)
I want to snuggle with this fic. <3 <3
Tiptoe39: nathan smilestiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:00 pm (UTC)
Oh good! It's a cuddlefic, so go ahead :D :D :D
Akadougal: Dean Cas lakeakadougal on April 29th, 2011 09:56 am (UTC)
Awwwww. This is lovely and sad. and lovely.
Tiptoe39: sad samtiptoe39 on April 29th, 2011 01:00 pm (UTC)
How palendromically awesome :D Thank you honey!