Log in

No account? Create an account
08 August 2011 @ 02:14 pm
[fanfic] Tale as Old as Time (Fourteen Kisses - Kisses 11-14) (Castiel/Gabriel, PG-13)  
Title: Tale as Old as Time (Fourteen Kisses), Part 3 of 3 (11-14)
Author: tiptoe39
Rating: PG-13 for some sexual innuendo
Pairing: Gabriel/Castiel
Words: About 13,000
Summary: With his new divine power, Castiel brings back Gabriel and gets more than he bargained for.

xi. Neither one of you sees your natural boundaries (angry/vicious)

After the delta they move up to the capital of the old empires, the first tribes, the place where Noah built the ark so long ago. Castiel’s face falls as he walks along the grooves and crevices of a notch in mountains where a great ship was once moored. “There were giants on the earth in those days,” he repeats softly to himself.

Gabriel watches him with some distress. He knows what he’s showing Castiel, he knows the feelings it will instill in him. These were the times when angels abused the trust and worship of the humans they were bound to guard. Lucifer was not the only angel to hate them; he was just the only one to do it openly, and after his fall all the others fell into a pattern of quiet disgust and callous abuse. They appeared unto the humans, they showed off miracles and saved lives. And then they impregnated the woman, forced them to bear monster children, drove their lives and their happiness into the ground as their brethren lived too long and laid waste to all semblance of human connection and comfort. The Nephilim were inbred, in-between, infectious viruses of bastard children, and they were the ones who had to be wiped out.

It remains the most sordid period of human history, even now, in the era of the atomic bomb and the opened Devil’s Gate. And it was the doing of the angels.

“I remember the day the water came,” Castiel says. “I remember raising my voice to my Father and begging for mercy. But I was young, small, too insignificant to be heard. Even then I knew God wasn’t listening to us. And yet we went on telling them that God hears all prayer. How could He? There are only so many voices one can hear.”

Gabriel leans on the bare scrape of a skinny tree, his body bending forward and backward, arching and rounding by turns. “Do you hear them all?” he says.

Castiel’s eyes flash. “Of course. I told you. I’m better than He ever was. I hear every single prayer from every creature on this planet that utters one.”

“Mm-hm. And do you answer them all?”

A shot of guilt marks Castiel’s face, and he scowls to hide it. “How can I? And why should I? So many of them are prideful, foolish things. People pray not to be discovered in their crimes. They pray for material things, or to ease suffering that’s entirely bearable. I would be remiss to answer them all.”

“But,” Gabriel points out, “there are people who still pray for their kids not to die. And kids still die. Or have you put a stop to that practice? Zero percent infant mortality under new management?”

“You’re goading me.” Castiel turns his back. “I don’t need to listen to this.”

“I thought you listened to everyone,” Gabriel teases. He spins around the tree, palm scraping against the bark, and approaches Castiel’s back. “Oh great God in heaven, or Syria, wherever — I pray that you make all traffic lights green, remove the burnt potato chips from the bags, and while you’re at it we could really do without milk that goes sour. Or is that too small? Dear God with Thy skinny little necktie that Thou canst keep straight, I pray for an end to hangovers, food poisoning, and what the hell, I’ll throw in cancer and AIDS too. That can’t be too petty for a great God such as yourself to deal with, can it?”

“Gabriel.” Castiel expels his name as a breathy warning. “Do not test me.”

“Why not? Looks like you’ve made up your mind as to your priorities. You’re going to bless the human race with the kind of God they’ve always wanted? Get cracking, Casti-El.” A jeering emphasis on the last syllable, the one that means God. “Our Brother who art in Megalomania, I pray for all negative emotion to vanish and for us all to live in the Elysian fields singing The Sound of Music forever. And if I can’t have that, can I at least have my brother back?”

Castiel stretches out a hand, grabs Gabriel, and pulls him forward and around in a circle, the other loop of the Figure 8 he started by circling that tree. When he comes to the crest of it, Castiel sinks his teeth into Gabriel’s lower lip, sucks on it hard, drawing blood and making Gabriel cry out in sudden pain. His eyes bug wide and then squeeze shut, and he fights Castiel with pummeling fists. But they’re impotent as if he were a human, Castiel’s power and anger amped up to the point where he will brook no resistance.

Castiel breaks off suddenly, pushes Gabriel backward, and smears the back of his hand over his lips. A smear of blood trails red over his knuckle. His eyes are dark, and a storm rides its way through his expression.

“Is this why you brought me here? So you could remind me of the consequences of divine intervention?” he says.

“Did it work?” Gabriel sucks on his own injured lip, too slow and winded to heal it instantly.

For a long time Castiel says nothing. He stares Gabriel down, barely blinking, his fists shaking slightly by his sides but no other motion visible. Then, at last, he takes a long breath and lets it out in a shuddering sigh.

“You are right,” he says. “But you are also very wrong. I will show you, Gabriel. I will show you that I can answer prayers, that I can move heaven and earth to make this a better world.”

His voice has lost all its emotion. Gabriel’s heart stings with each thudding beat.

“All right,” Gabriel says weakly, “off to the Holy Land, then.”

xii. Can it be I'm not meant to play this part? (jealous/possessive)

Jerusalem hurts.

The pain starts before they’re even there, as they’re winging over the Jordan River with their sights set on Bethlehem. Castiel crumples, clutching his head, and Gabriel holds him fast, reminds him that he can stand it, that once long ago they traversed this same territory without the benefit of souls to hold them strong, and Castiel did his job then, as he’ll do it now. Castiel is still angry, and he still doesn’t want to cling to Gabriel. But it’s the only way he can make it to the ground without falling from the sky like a stone.

It’s the prayers that hurt, raining into his head like a summer thunderstorm, constant beating of Pleases and Gods and Whys. Everyone in every country prays, but here they pray even more often and in greater numbers. It’s why they come. They make pilgrimages, as though Jerusalem will get them closer to the same God they declare is everywhere at once, and they pray out loud to the same God they swear can see straight into their hearts. This is how humans are. They seek a focus, a pattern, an overt expression for who and what they are and for the doubts and questions that plague them. They are never content to just be.

Castiel wonders, idly, in a moment between the pangs — how are they different? Is he more or less like the humans now that he is trying so very, very hard to prove he can accomplish what his father could not?

But he looks over at Gabriel, and Gabriel’s gazing at him with that lazy, knowing grin of his, like he’s completely aware of what’s “cooking in Castiel’s melon,” as he might put it. And the grin infuriates Castiel enough that he shuts down all doubts.

They travel over bridges and ancient cobblestones and reinforced concrete, past buildings of steel and old bleached brick, and Castiel grabs the railing of a nearby staircase and doubles over.

They’re within a half-mile of the Wailing Wall now.

Gabriel says nothing, for once in his life; he just slings Castiel’s arm over his shoulder and helps him limp closer and closer. Castiel’s mind and heart and body are full of pleas and prayers now — heart attacks and lost jobs and destruction of enemies, simple children’s birthday wishes and the entrenched, complex despair of the old and friendless — and the air seems to grow thick with all the prayers, turn to liquid and then to solid rock in his lungs. He can’t breathe. The souls still within him are beginning to spark, to rush with the influx of despair and anger, the entropy familiar and enticing. It was all they’d known before coming to reside within him, and to feel it this strongly churns them up, fire in his chest, sparks in his eyes, electricity between his fingertips.

“I am here,” he begins to whisper into Gabriel’s ear. “I can answer their prayers. All of them.”

“Don’t, Castiel, “ Gabriel says, and his voice is all concern, even a little fear. “You will destroy yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” Castiel insists. “I am all-powerful. I am God.”

“So what are you going to do?” Gabriel says, holding him by the shoulder. “Grab all those souls back from outer space and just start making people’s lives perfect again?”

“This world needs miracles!” Tears have sprung to Castiel’s eyes. “When was the last time the hand of God was shown as it was in days of old? These people know nothing of the divine that walks among them. Do they not deserve it? Have they not been in enough despair since we— since I allowed Lucifer to go free? The tsunamis, the earthquakes, all of the aftermath of the apocalypse? It rained corpses in those days, and I was the cause of it. I will make things better even if it does destroy me!”

Gabriel slaps him across the face. “That’s what you’ve learned?” He’s forgotten there are people who can see him, there are crowds of tourists who are bearing witness to this. “After everything we’ve done, after the house and the dates and the fireworks and the world tour, you’re still going on like you’ve got to fix everything? Even Dad didn’t fix everything!”

“That’s the problem!”

“Or maybe it’s not! Maybe that’s the point! You were going on and on about free will, and now you just want to take away all the conflict, give everyone their happy-ever-after. What are you giving them free choice for, bro? So they can choose between chocolate and vanilla ice cream?”

“I will reward those who make the right choices.”

“Then it’s not a free choice, now, is it?” Gabriel’s as angry as Castiel’s ever seen him, and there may just be tears in his eyes too. But Castiel brushes the observation aside, tries to stay on top of what Gabriel’s saying, even though the shouts and the wailing and the praying are still roiling him inside. “If you’re sitting around giving out lollipops, then nobody’s gonna learn that sometimes in life you gotta do the right thing and let someone else win for a change. Nobody’s gonna learn any perspective. You’re going to end up with a universe of spoiled seven-year-olds.”

“Like you?” The icy disdain in his voice is foreign even to Castiel. He doesn’t remember the last time he spoke to Gabriel like this.

“Exactly like me! I screwed around and ran away and hid in my corner eating candy and whining about how alone I was, and the minute I stood up for what was right, I got mowed down. Not fair, right? But if I hadn’t died, those guys would have never taken my last message seriously, and our dear brothers would have torn up this world. Someone always gets screwed, or nothing would work. And how good can you be if you never do something good not because it gets you somewhere but because it’s just plain good?”

“Gabriel—” The air is starting to weigh Castiel down. His souls are whirling with one desire; his mind with another. And Gabriel is buffeting against him with an all-out attack, and Castiel can’t stop him.

“It comes down to this, Castiel.” Gabriel lets go of him stands firm, his hands on his hips. “Do you want to be a better God? Or do you want humans to be better people? Because you can’t have both!”

Castiel groans and crumples to the ground.

He’s fading in and out through most of what happens next, through the foreign sirens and the shouting of people, the buzz of pain too intense to even feel properly. He does catch Gabriel letting paramedics do their thing, as though it were his human body failing and not his divine consciousness; he hears people ask in Hebrew and Arabic if everything is all right; he feels the pump of oxygen into a mask that’s still so laced with prayers that it hurts to breathe. But some of those prayers are for him, now, and that helps just a little.

And when they’re in the ambulance, when everyone is looking away, Gabriel reaches down and removes the mask long enough to seal his lips down where it had been, breathing his own fierce possession into Castiel’s mouth. “I won’t let anyone take you away,” he whispers, and Castiel can feel the force of his intention, drowning out a million other voices for just a moment. “I found you, and I’m not letting you go, not for souls and not for heaven and not for earth, and sure as hell not for God. You are not walking away from me again, Castiel.”

That’s all he knows before everything fades to darkness.

xiii. Fate is kind, she brings to those who love (teasing)

A god in a hospital bed. It’s probably the funniest thing Gabriel has ever seen, and he should be laughing his ass off. Should be, but he isn’t, and he doesn’t think he can, because for the first time since he swore he’d never do anything but laugh again, he’s forgotten how.

He sits in the quiet hospital room, clutching Castiel’s hand.

“What the hell kind of god are you?” he half-teases. “Gods don’t get laid up. Pathetic.”

But his voice is weak, and is Gabriel ever glad he doesn’t have an audience, because nothing about this is funny. Nothing.

“I’m really pissed at you, Castiel,” he says. “Really pissed.”

“You know what the doctors told me? They said you had slipped into a coma. That there was nothing wrong with your body, you just weren’t responding. And they have no idea if you’re gonna wake up tomorrow or in a year or never at all. According to these quacks, you’re a vegetable. A broccoli god. Angel of cabbage. Congratulations.”

He lets Castiel’s hand drop away, gets up, and moves to the window. Night is slipping over the Holy City. He can hear the prayers, too, but not as loudly — they’re like a low whisper, a background hum of faith, and he’s learned over the centuries to forget it’s even there. Now, he’s kind of glad to hear it. It’s nice to know people still believe in God, even when everything they see in their lives tells them there’s no reason to. It makes him feel a little bit less like a figment of his own imagination.

“You got me, you know,” he says, shrugging, turning to glance at the bed before returning his eyes to the skyline. “I wasn’t gonna care. Honestly, I thought the trick was that you were gonna realize you were too attached to the Winchesters to leave them go. Maybe even try and smooch Dean-o for a laugh. But you were a persistent son of a bitch, and now here I am, freaking gone on you, and you—”

He stops, chokes back the thing that’s unpleasantly like a sob in the back of his throat.

“And the worst part is? I can’t even blame the souls. You’ve held them down. This is you, and your issues talking, and no matter how I think of it, I can only see you to blame. You did this, you brought this on yourself, and now I gotta be here to deal with the pieces. What kind of better God do you think you are, doing that to me, huh? How’s that a newer, fairer world?”

He lifts the back of his hand to his eyes, wipes them violently, ignores the wetness he feels there. “I brought you here to remind you that you can’t fix the world,” he says. “Didn’t expect you to go in guns blazing and try.”

“Isn’t changing my world enough, Castiel? Because you did that. You got me. You changed me. That’s what’s not fair. You shouldn’t change me, and not let me change you back.”

“Don’t you get it? The world is what it is. Because of God, in spite of him, who knows? You don’t need to be responsible for it, you don’t need to be a miracle worker to be worthy of love. You are loved. If you were a human you’d still be loved. Those jackasses Sam and Dean love you, but they’re idiots, they don’t know how to say it. I’m an idiot too, but I’m a bit smarter than your average bear. So I’ll say it.”

He walks over to Castiel’s bedside and hovers over him. “I love you, Castiel,” he says, barely above a whisper, “and what’s more, I need you. So for God’s sake, let go of this stupid, stupid responsibility that’s dragging you under and come back to me. I don’t want to have to live without you.”

Castiel’s eyelashes flutter, but that’s the only movement besides the ruffling of curtains over the radiator.

Gabriel sighs and leans down to cover soft pink lips with his own. Maybe it’s the last kiss he’ll ever take. Maybe Castiel will never emerge from the prison of his mind that he’s forged, the one he’s locked away in. Maybe this kiss is the very last hope of a desperate angel who, for the first time since he ran from Heaven, had learned how to feel like he had a home. Maybe it’s just a goodbye.

Or maybe Castiel’s tongue is in his mouth.

Gabriel stumbles back, his fingers covering his lips. His eyes are fixed on Castiel’s— Castiel’s bright, open eyes. And his smile. That teasing smile.

Castiel licks his lips slowly and sits up. “I think that counts as true love’s kiss,” he says. “It’s too bad you weren’t the one being tested.”

He frowns, deadpan, at Gabriel, even as the tears start to fall.

“You had me freaking worried,” Gabriel says. “Do you know what a pain in the ass it is when God is laid up? Who the hell am I supposed to ask for help, huh?”

“Please don’t call me that.”

Gabriel stops short. “Come again?”

Castiel’s smile looks like sunrise. It’s everything Gabriel could ever have wanted from a smile. “It’s time,” he says.

xiv. Till we find our place on the path unwinding (loving)

Back in the forest, in someplace starting with M in North America, Gabriel is waiting with a bottle of beer in his hand. Castiel steps outside, looks up at the skies, and nods. They wanted to do this at the place they have learned to call home, a place that represents not the past but present and future both.

Gabriel needs the beer, not because alcohol has a real effect on him but just because it represents calm, it represents a human way to deal with tough situations, and he likes to play human. It gives him a touchable, viewable point of reference for the anomaly that is his existence. He’s neither angel nor god nor monster, but if he can at least look human, that’s good enough for him.

“You ready?” he asks, and there’s a dark cloud of doubt sitting in his eyes, the eternal party pooper just waiting for the rain to come.

Castiel nods. “It has to happen. I was prideful.”

“You did the best you could.” A strange thing, to be comforting him, when Gabriel has made his life hell to get him to this point.

The souls start flying upward then, millions upon millions of scarlet and cerulean bursts against the backdrop of the night sky. There are millions of them, but they’re not as big as the universe, not as full of energy as the vacuum of space is empty of it. Perhaps some will crash against a distant planet and create life. Perhaps some will be sucked into a black hole, or burn forever on the surface of a star. Castiel is first splitting them into fragments, and they will not feel; they will disperse and become more of the mystical energy that powers the cosmos. Transformed, they will ride on forever, and transformed too, Castiel will live on without them.

When gold and copper light into a haze around the moon, Castiel takes Gabriel into his arms. They kiss, mouths crushed together, fingers gripping at each other’s faces, twining around each other in this small Eden of their own making. Gabriel’s eyes are shut tight, Castiel knows, and his are half-lidded, not wanting to close all the way and miss the bright colors reflect soft shades on Gabriel’s skin.

They part and Gabriel laughs, his face reddening even beneath a shower of green-blue sparks. “Congratulations,” he says, “you win.”


“That.” Gabriel grins brilliantly. “That was the kiss of true love. Or as close to it as I’ve ever seen. So, you win the game. And you’re free to ditch me now.”

Castiel looks at him, trying to control the bright joy in his heart — so clear, so unclouded by the weight of the universe, as the souls flee him and he’s left alone within himself. There’s an emptiness, to be sure, but he’s not lonely or hungry to own a replacement. It just makes him want to reach out and hold Gabriel closer, instead.

“Are you sure?” he says. “Because I think it may have been lacking.”

Gabriel blinks.

“I think we might have to keep trying,” Castiel elaborates, and that’s when the stormclouds clear from Gabriel’s eyes.

“Of course,” he says. “You’re right. There was definitely something missing. We ought to give it another shot.”

Castiel pulls his face close with gentle fingers. It’s hard to deny that their next kiss is as close to a perfect Kiss of True Love as they’re likely to get. Or maybe it’s not. Maybe there are still some kinks to iron out. Neither Castiel nor Gabriel much cares, so long as it never ends.


aerilexaerilex on August 8th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
......Have I said ilu lately?
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 8th, 2011 06:34 pm (UTC)
oh shock and you get in before secondplatypus so gold star for you!! :DDD

I love you too! glad you enjoyed :D
Captain Nommers of the Tastypants Brigade: lost in timesecondplatypus on August 8th, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
The souls start flying upward then, millions upon millions of scarlet and cerulean bursts against the backdrop of the night sky. There are millions of them, but they’re not as big as the universe, not as full of energy as the vacuum of space is empty of it. Perhaps some will crash against a distant planet and create life. Perhaps some will be sucked into a black hole, or burn forever on the surface of a star. Castiel is first splitting them into fragments, and they will not feel; they will disperse and become more of the mystical energy that powers the cosmos. Transformed, they will ride on forever, and transformed too, Castiel will live on without them.

Captain Nommers of the Tastypants Brigade: castiel - revelationsecondplatypus on August 8th, 2011 08:28 pm (UTC)
P.S. I'll be back to give you actual feedback when the incoherent flail-fest in my brain quiets down a bit.
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 8th, 2011 08:36 pm (UTC)
LOL this is all you need to say <3 <3 <3 <3 I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you for bearing with me while I wrote, scrapped, re-wrote, agonized, wrote a novel in between, put off, delayed, re-started, and finally flung this thing up today :D It's been a long time coming and I'm thrilled you found it worth waiting for.

You are really special to me, you know that? You make me feel like I can *move* someone, which is amazing - and it keeps me going. So thank you so much for being you, and for all the wonderful things you've said and done for me since I've known you. I love you tons, hon, and it makes me incredibly happy to be able to give you something you love.

*hugs forever*
Lady Eternal: I'll Make Sure You're Okayladyeternal on August 8th, 2011 10:00 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure what fascinates me more about how you did this: the metaphor of the souls being like a substance abuse addiction, including Cas hitting rock bottom before he finds the strength to let it go;

Or the way that Gabriel sitting there by Castiel's bedside through the coma is such a polar opposite of the way Dean couldn't even be bothered to go get Cas from that hospital in Louisiana in canon.

I adore this from top to bottom, BB. You dove straight into Castiel's mind in all the ways I wanted Show to go, in ways that they barely touched on in 6.20, and your Gabriel is so perfectly voiced, from his anger to his joy to his mischief, his attempts at indifference to the blaze of his passions.

Castiel looks at him, trying to control the bright joy in his heart — so clear, so unclouded by the weight of the universe, as the souls flee him and he’s left alone within himself. There’s an emptiness, to be sure, but he’s not lonely or hungry to own a replacement. It just makes him want to reach out and hold Gabriel closer, instead.


There's a part of me that would love to see a sequel where the Winchesters find out that Cas has given up the souls & Dean's all jealous of Gabriel & the two angels work together to fix Sam's Hell damage & there is eventual OT4 bliss.

But this is perfect just the way it is, because it fixes so much so beautifully, with the deft hand that is uniquely yours.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 8th, 2011 10:15 pm (UTC)
Hah! I'm so tempted by that sequel idea!! :DDD I think you should write it. *pushes you* I'm so very glad this took you where you wanted it to go, and that you took the time to tell me how it made you feel. I'm very lucky to know you *smishes* Really, thanks so much. I love you tons.

Now. More smut! \o/ XD
333 - Halfway to Hell: Richard-Mishascyllaya on August 8th, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC)
I feel bad about not being able to give long and coherent feedback to you, but alas it's late for my right now, my brain is tired. So I will only say that this goes to my memories, it was an amazing story and loved it very much.
Loved the way Gabriel tried to help and loved how Castiel found himself again.
Beautiful ending. :)
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 8th, 2011 11:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I really do believe that sometimes incoherent feedback is the best kind :DDD So thank you so so much :DDD
Zekkass: Cougar Kittens!zekkass on August 9th, 2011 04:13 am (UTC)
<3 <3 <3 I love this. You write them so well, and so sweetly.

This is lovely, and you are lovely. :3
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 9th, 2011 10:38 am (UTC)
So are you! <333

Thank you doll!
Morgan O'Conner: SPN Castiel angel wings by kasienka-nikkmorganoconner on August 9th, 2011 01:38 pm (UTC)

...marry me?

Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 9th, 2011 02:06 pm (UTC)
hahaa, you and secondplatypus can compete to see who can offer the bigger diamond ring (see upthread) :)

I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT! And I owe you thanks for your incredible, incredible Cas/Gabriel fic that rejuvenated my muse when I was afraid I couldn't write these two. You're a major reason why this happened, so THANK YOU!!! *smishes*
The Ramblings of a Dreamer: fallen (victoria frances)starrfire on August 10th, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
*applauds you* Gosh, there was so many beautiful moments... I never would have guessed you using Israel in the manner you did, but you did it brilliantly.
One of the most heart breaking moments for me...
Castiel’s eyelashes flutter, but that’s the only movement besides the ruffling of curtains over the radiator.

Gabriel sighs and leans down to cover soft pink lips with his own. Maybe it’s the last kiss he’ll ever take. Maybe Castiel will never emerge from the prison of his mind that he’s forged, the one he’s locked away in. Maybe this kiss is the very last hope of a desperate angel who, for the first time since he ran from Heaven, had learned how to feel like he had a home. Maybe it’s just a goodbye.

I was about to break down sobbing, until I read this:
Or maybe Castiel’s tongue is in his mouth.

which had me laughing and smiling, and so filled with relief.

(I probably have more to say about this, but it's late and my mind is kinda all over the place) I hope that made sense? Anyway...yah.

You my dear, are brilliant.

Edited at 2011-08-10 03:40 am (UTC)
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 10th, 2011 11:09 am (UTC)
Oh, I am SO glad that worked the way I wanted it to XDDDD

Thank you love! And thank you for the thoughtful comments! They mean the world to me <333 Love you so much.
The Ramblings of a Dreamer: *Hugs* (J&D SG1)starrfire on August 10th, 2011 09:27 pm (UTC)
^_^ *hug*

awww, you are more than welcome, it's my pleasure dear... you are an amazing writer, and I'm glad to brighten your day. *hugs and <3*
Lady Strangesynnerxx on August 10th, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
I really love this. It's fantastically written and intricately woven and just beautiful. ALL THE FEELINGS FOR YOU AND THIS FIC basically. <3
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 10th, 2011 06:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you so, so, so much! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it <3
Lady Strangesynnerxx on August 10th, 2011 06:42 pm (UTC)
It's truly amazing. I'm in awe of it a bit. <3
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 10th, 2011 06:44 pm (UTC)
and i am blushing hard rn. <333333 thank you so much.
Lady Strangesynnerxx on August 10th, 2011 06:48 pm (UTC)
Heh, sorry. I'll stop being such a fangirl now. :D You're very welcome. <3

ETA: before i forget again, I really love your layout. Sailor Moon ftw!

Edited at 2011-08-10 06:49 pm (UTC)
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 10th, 2011 06:51 pm (UTC)
oh, i eat up fangirliness. :P But thank you so much. And yay sailor mooon :D
Lady Strangesynnerxx on August 10th, 2011 06:53 pm (UTC)
Lol, please don't eat me. Have a cookie instead? *offers cookie* Love Sailor Moon. Show of my heart it is. XD
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on August 10th, 2011 06:54 pm (UTC)
Mine too. Friending you. Clearly we need to have epic conversations.
Lady Strangesynnerxx on August 10th, 2011 06:55 pm (UTC)
Awesome. Clearly we do. :)
Jena Bartley: spn - garbiel up to no goodjenab on September 4th, 2011 04:57 pm (UTC)
This was a fantastic journey. I really enjoyed this.
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on September 6th, 2011 11:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you, doll! :)
seraph_lostseraph_lost on January 2nd, 2012 02:41 am (UTC)
I read this one when you first posted it, and I could have never managed a coherent comment, so I didn't. I doubt I'll manage it even now, but I need to say how much you surprised me with this one. I don't know what I was expecting, but I remember being completely floored the first time I read this through. I didn't expect there to be so much to it. The psychology you put into this story seriously gives me all kinds of delightful shivers because I am totally into turning over every little rock for a hidden meaning or different viewpoint or depth, it's like a treasure hunt to find something I didn't consider, didn't even think of, something totally different to just soak up, and the profundity you give this piece is such a treat.

And this bit, seriously...

And Castiel had to have known the risk, going in. He had to have thought it was worth it. Dean could make a deal and go to hell; Sam could throw himself into the cage; but Castiel could not sacrifice his life to save the world. The only thing he could sacrifice was his integrity, and he did it without hesitation. In a way, It was a bold move.

That one shook me. I mean, DUDE. My god. That is just phenomenal. I still think this is one of my very favorites of your fics.
Tiptoe39tiptoe39 on January 2nd, 2012 03:06 am (UTC)
THANK YOU. Really. You've just made my whole day so happy and bright with your comments today. You have no idea. And I really, really, really, love that you picked up on some of the psychological/philosophical things I wanted to convey here. *huggles* really, it means the world to me. And I'm so glad this fic spoke to you. <3 <3 <3 Thanks again.