I feel like I've been run over by a TRUCK. And I LIKE it. Oh, show, you make me so happy in a codependent emotionally blackmailing evil sort of way.
This was undoubtedly the Episode of the Badasses.
1) "Exposed." Oh, GOD I love porn-movie title episodes. You can take your seat at the bar over near "The Kindness of Strangers" and "Better Halves," as well as most of the episode titles in Hana Yori Dango. (Seriously. Him, Me, and That Guy? Night of Love in Atami? Warm Night of Betrayal? DOMYOJI WON'T COME!?!??? oh, but I digress...)
2) Alex: "I might take a wrong turn at Albuquerque!"
Claire: "Be vewwy, vewwy quiet... they'we hunting tewwowists!"
3) New Spinoff Series: Mr. Muggles. SUPERDETECTIVE.
*Mr. MUGGLES, BADASS #1*
4) Oh, Claire. You stole $300? Didn't you see Dirty Dancing? I'd freak out if I were Sandra, too. That's how much it cost Richard Marx's wife to get the abortion.
5) All in all, one of the less awkward ways Sandra has met the boys in her daughter's life.
6) Noah. For REAL? You have a bach pad in DUPONT CIRCLE? This is NOT going to quell the rumor about you and Nathan shacking up. I expect to see you at Diner having an intimate chat over late-night pancakes.
7) OK, Peter and Matt? So cute. Their energies really complement each other. I would ship it, but I ship everyone/everyone already.
8) Noah's in Dupont. Daphne's on E Street. LOLWUT? Everyone's local! CMON EVIL GUVVIES, LET'S GO HAVE A DRINK IN ADAMS MORGAN! ::dies:: Can you imagine how squee-ish I'd be if I lived in New York?
9) I'm starting to want an illuminated Danko bust for my desk. His skin is so freaking white. If you put a lightbulb inside that dome, it'd be just perfect mood lighting.
10) Sandra: "Um, Claire, you're supposed to say he can breathe underwater so I WON'T think you're having sex, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!"
11) OK, I'm starting to get really conflicted about Luke. He whines. He bitches. He moans. And yet I really, really like him. (Does that make me Sylar? Yikes!)
12) Claire being proactive, NOW UR FINALLY DOIN IT RITE, SHOW! This is how it should be. And Sandra + Claire as the Dynamic Duo? Win.
13) Hello, pretty agent girl in the car! I hope you don't end up as someones love interest. Or dead. Or both.
14) Sandra has a plan. OF COURSE Sandra has a plan.
*SANDRA, BADASS #2*
15) Why are they in front of the World Bank? That's like 20th and I!
16) I would like Matt to stare at me and then I will suggest the penthouse suite and :drools incoherently: sorry, what was I saying?
17) That's right boys, go up in the ELEVATOR and walk down the HALLWAY. :eyeroll:
18) You know what? I would like BOTH Peter and Matt to stare at me. And then :drools doubly incoherently: guh guh no guh.
19) Seriously, how adorable are they together? with the giggly and the I love this. Oh, GOD show, you and your crazy ships, i love you so.
20) MATT'S SMIRK IS MADE OF WIN. OMG. ajke;fljal;fjl;eafakfl;;lkjeklajflk;eajf
**BADASS #3: MATT*
21) How do we love Sandra Bennet? Let us count the ways. License grabbing. License fakery. Loving DEF LEPPARD. There is a world of awesome out there and its name is Sandra Bennet. In fact, I think that Sandra gets double badass billing today. She rocked harder than it was possible to rock.
**BADASS #4: BONUS SANDRA!**
22) I demand dubcon/noncon fic about Luke learning some fucking RESPECT.
23) OK, How old WAS chibi-Gabey when he was sold to his uncle? He looks at least 6. I have memories from when I was 6. I know, I know, repression and whatnot, but... I thought he was sold as a baby. I mean, why bother with the potty training and THEN sell him? what's up with that? Once you have it housebroken, you might as well keep it!
24) OK. I've been ragging on Luke, but his throaty voice in this ep was kind of sexy. In a jailbait, forbidden fruit kind of way. Am I going to hell now?
25) Cut to the Claire Bear Stare. And who can blame her?
*BADASS #5: Alex's pecs*
26) Apparently the government's official facial recognition software is fooled by contact lenses. Way to go, gummint.
27) Claire, don't you recognize that place? Isn't that where you hid from Sylar in the Volume That Shall Not Be Named? Duh.
28) Oh, PLEASE don't be a day player, pretty agent lady. Please come back. Please have a name.
29) I vote for flushing Alex down the toilet and having him swim through the sewers. He's skinny enough to fit in the pipes.
30) HELLO BOYS EVEN IF DAPHNE'S NOT HERE, MOMO MOST LIKELY IS, HALLOHHHHHHHHHHHHH
31) Wait, Matt's senses become raw nerves? Do you know what that piece of information does to every psychic-sex fic I've ever written? I LOVE YOU, SHOW!
32) Disturbed!Sylar is pretty awesome, but I really could live without hearing him whimper, "Mommy......."
33) OK, I need screenshots for every frame of that unbelievable bit of wordless acting just before the break. How many emotions did he go through without even saying a word? That's fucking brilliant is what that is. WOW. Breath stolen moment.
34) Angela: "I would never betray you. And this is not an object lesson about how you're treating your brother. Not at all."
35) PETER YOU BASTARD, you're gonna spring Matt and Daphne and leave Momo to ROT?! You people are HEARTLESS!
36) Now I'm confused about something seriously. If anything happens to Peter, Matt, orhis beard Daphne, the videos will be released. How? I thought maybe through Rebel, but in that case, if Rebel can get into the Building 26 computers, why didn't he just steal the vid and release it anyway? Why would it be any less credible if he'd just done that? I don't understand how that works.
37) "Because you love me." My show loves me, yes I know, cause the subtext tells me so...
38) THE PETRELLI HUG STRIKES AGAIN. Good Peter, you finally have learned from your mistakes. Well played.
*BADASS #6: PETER*
39) I give mad props to the Pasdar Profile of Prettiness. HOW PRETTY IS HE? omg.
*BADASS #7: PASDAR's PROFILE*
40) Wait, stop, that's our media? They're shocked and outraged and can claim a "clear violation of constitutional liberties" from an anonymously submitted videotape? that's OUR media? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! How do THEY know it's American citizens, anyway? What the hell is that? Gimme a fucking break. I can say no more, I am bound to silence.
41) OH NO YOU DIDN'T DANKO (O_O)
*BADASSES #8 & 9: DANKO AND THE FUCKING WRITERS WHO ROCK MY FUCKING WORLD*
42) I always thought Ashley Crow resembled the actress who played Joyce Summers; now it seems to be a clear homage. And I am loving it.
43) D'oh(le)!
Hai hai, dozo, please do offer your thoughts. hugs
This was undoubtedly the Episode of the Badasses.
1) "Exposed." Oh, GOD I love porn-movie title episodes. You can take your seat at the bar over near "The Kindness of Strangers" and "Better Halves," as well as most of the episode titles in Hana Yori Dango. (Seriously. Him, Me, and That Guy? Night of Love in Atami? Warm Night of Betrayal? DOMYOJI WON'T COME!?!??? oh, but I digress...)
2) Alex: "I might take a wrong turn at Albuquerque!"
Claire: "Be vewwy, vewwy quiet... they'we hunting tewwowists!"
3) New Spinoff Series: Mr. Muggles. SUPERDETECTIVE.
*Mr. MUGGLES, BADASS #1*
4) Oh, Claire. You stole $300? Didn't you see Dirty Dancing? I'd freak out if I were Sandra, too. That's how much it cost Richard Marx's wife to get the abortion.
5) All in all, one of the less awkward ways Sandra has met the boys in her daughter's life.
6) Noah. For REAL? You have a bach pad in DUPONT CIRCLE? This is NOT going to quell the rumor about you and Nathan shacking up. I expect to see you at Diner having an intimate chat over late-night pancakes.
7) OK, Peter and Matt? So cute. Their energies really complement each other. I would ship it, but I ship everyone/everyone already.
8) Noah's in Dupont. Daphne's on E Street. LOLWUT? Everyone's local! CMON EVIL GUVVIES, LET'S GO HAVE A DRINK IN ADAMS MORGAN! ::dies:: Can you imagine how squee-ish I'd be if I lived in New York?
9) I'm starting to want an illuminated Danko bust for my desk. His skin is so freaking white. If you put a lightbulb inside that dome, it'd be just perfect mood lighting.
10) Sandra: "Um, Claire, you're supposed to say he can breathe underwater so I WON'T think you're having sex, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!"
11) OK, I'm starting to get really conflicted about Luke. He whines. He bitches. He moans. And yet I really, really like him. (Does that make me Sylar? Yikes!)
12) Claire being proactive, NOW UR FINALLY DOIN IT RITE, SHOW! This is how it should be. And Sandra + Claire as the Dynamic Duo? Win.
13) Hello, pretty agent girl in the car! I hope you don't end up as someones love interest. Or dead. Or both.
14) Sandra has a plan. OF COURSE Sandra has a plan.
*SANDRA, BADASS #2*
15) Why are they in front of the World Bank? That's like 20th and I!
16) I would like Matt to stare at me and then I will suggest the penthouse suite and :drools incoherently: sorry, what was I saying?
17) That's right boys, go up in the ELEVATOR and walk down the HALLWAY. :eyeroll:
18) You know what? I would like BOTH Peter and Matt to stare at me. And then :drools doubly incoherently: guh guh no guh.
19) Seriously, how adorable are they together? with the giggly and the I love this. Oh, GOD show, you and your crazy ships, i love you so.
20) MATT'S SMIRK IS MADE OF WIN. OMG. ajke;fljal;fjl;eafakfl;;lkjeklajflk;eajf
**BADASS #3: MATT*
21) How do we love Sandra Bennet? Let us count the ways. License grabbing. License fakery. Loving DEF LEPPARD. There is a world of awesome out there and its name is Sandra Bennet. In fact, I think that Sandra gets double badass billing today. She rocked harder than it was possible to rock.
**BADASS #4: BONUS SANDRA!**
22) I demand dubcon/noncon fic about Luke learning some fucking RESPECT.
23) OK, How old WAS chibi-Gabey when he was sold to his uncle? He looks at least 6. I have memories from when I was 6. I know, I know, repression and whatnot, but... I thought he was sold as a baby. I mean, why bother with the potty training and THEN sell him? what's up with that? Once you have it housebroken, you might as well keep it!
24) OK. I've been ragging on Luke, but his throaty voice in this ep was kind of sexy. In a jailbait, forbidden fruit kind of way. Am I going to hell now?
25) Cut to the Claire Bear Stare. And who can blame her?
*BADASS #5: Alex's pecs*
26) Apparently the government's official facial recognition software is fooled by contact lenses. Way to go, gummint.
27) Claire, don't you recognize that place? Isn't that where you hid from Sylar in the Volume That Shall Not Be Named? Duh.
28) Oh, PLEASE don't be a day player, pretty agent lady. Please come back. Please have a name.
29) I vote for flushing Alex down the toilet and having him swim through the sewers. He's skinny enough to fit in the pipes.
30) HELLO BOYS EVEN IF DAPHNE'S NOT HERE, MOMO MOST LIKELY IS, HALLOHHHHHHHHHHHHH
31) Wait, Matt's senses become raw nerves? Do you know what that piece of information does to every psychic-sex fic I've ever written? I LOVE YOU, SHOW!
32) Disturbed!Sylar is pretty awesome, but I really could live without hearing him whimper, "Mommy......."
33) OK, I need screenshots for every frame of that unbelievable bit of wordless acting just before the break. How many emotions did he go through without even saying a word? That's fucking brilliant is what that is. WOW. Breath stolen moment.
34) Angela: "I would never betray you. And this is not an object lesson about how you're treating your brother. Not at all."
35) PETER YOU BASTARD, you're gonna spring Matt and Daphne and leave Momo to ROT?! You people are HEARTLESS!
36) Now I'm confused about something seriously. If anything happens to Peter, Matt, or
37) "Because you love me." My show loves me, yes I know, cause the subtext tells me so...
38) THE PETRELLI HUG STRIKES AGAIN. Good Peter, you finally have learned from your mistakes. Well played.
*BADASS #6: PETER*
39) I give mad props to the Pasdar Profile of Prettiness. HOW PRETTY IS HE? omg.
*BADASS #7: PASDAR's PROFILE*
40) Wait, stop, that's our media? They're shocked and outraged and can claim a "clear violation of constitutional liberties" from an anonymously submitted videotape? that's OUR media? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! How do THEY know it's American citizens, anyway? What the hell is that? Gimme a fucking break. I can say no more, I am bound to silence.
41) OH NO YOU DIDN'T DANKO (O_O)
*BADASSES #8 & 9: DANKO AND THE FUCKING WRITERS WHO ROCK MY FUCKING WORLD*
42) I always thought Ashley Crow resembled the actress who played Joyce Summers; now it seems to be a clear homage. And I am loving it.
43) D'oh(le)!
Hai hai, dozo, please do offer your thoughts. hugs
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